Day 5 of 7 (we’ll ignore the fact that it’s three days since my last post) and it’s a song that never fails to put a smile on my face.
For a person who is not very shy at all – give me someone to talk to and I will chew their ear off for hours – I am absolutely terrified about getting up in front of people and doing presentations or performing in any way shape or form. This became so bad that I dropped out of university – twice – because I steadfastly refused to participate in any modules that involved doing presentations (that’d be all of them) and also didn’t turn up to a teaching placement once because I was too scared of the seven year olds that I’d be working with. Daft, I know. But a GENUINE FEAR.
I avoided the issue for years until one day my sister Helen, who was at Liverpool Institute of Performing Arts at the time, showed me an advert for a choir group that was beginning in the Black-E in town. Now, I love singing (as my poor family and neighbours will attest) and had talked about joining or even starting a choir for years, but then did nothing about it because of the aforementioned crippling fear. But I really wanted to have a go at this one, so our H said she’d come with me for some moral support.
Oh god, the fear I felt before that first class. What if I was asked to leave FOR BEING TERRIBLE? What if I cried in front of everyone due to abject terror? (This has happened in the past.)
Of course, none of these things happened. I absolutely loved every second. Our H only went with me to the first couple, admitting that she’d had no intention of sticking around once she knew I was going to be okay. (Awww.)
The choir only ran for about twelve weeks and culminated in a little concert in front of everyone’s family and friends, something I’m sure that my mum had thought she’d done her fair share of attending; obviously I had other ideas. September was one of the songs we performed. I sang my little heart out with a massive smile on my face and, although in the grand scheme of things that little fifteen minute concert didn’t mean much at all, to me, at that moment, it meant so, so much.